I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
