The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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