I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
