i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
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You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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