we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
