I heard we made out
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
