last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
