Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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