I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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