oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She just used a chaser for red wine.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
