Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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