some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
