I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
