tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
