no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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