you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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