go do what you do best...puke behind churches
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize