first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
