oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
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I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
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That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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