i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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