about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
