nut hugger
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
