Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize