happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
