The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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