super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
