I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
