Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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