There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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