Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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