All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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