she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
