yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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