I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize