I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
