saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
