had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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