Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
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I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
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She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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