the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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