ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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