You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
