The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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