Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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