toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
