Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
