Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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