What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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