My nipple is on Facebook.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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