i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did I show you my penis last night?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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