I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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