HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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