why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
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