omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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