she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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