Me. At least after what I've been through.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
