i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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