I just made out with a guy for $7.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
