I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize