i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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