whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
