I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize