i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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