barbara walters just said penis...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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