I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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