He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
