there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
