the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
